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2000-12-04 ~ 20:43:11

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Well . . . I just got out of a nice relaxing bath and figured it would probably be a good time to write my first, official, real entry in this thing.

I've been through quite a bit, relationship-wise, in this past year . . . or maybe it's just magnified because I also moved out of my parent's house for the first time in my life. And that's not just moving out someplace in town . . . that was moving 70 miles away (which I admit, really isn't that far away) . . . away from all my family and all my friends . . .

Once I moved out, I came back every now and then and got introduced to a completely new set of people . . . These people have now become some of my closest friends. I moved out back in January and it's now December . . . I've been going to visit this groups of people and/or my parents just about every weekend since my birthday at the end of July . . .

Anyways . . . . I guess that's a little tiny bit of a background for you . . . not much though . . . but enough for now . . .

So as for relationships . . .

I think the beings with absolute control over relationships hate me . . . they like to make me think that one's gonna start with the person I'm interested in, then they pull him away.

I've had two within the last half of this year . . . and I'd have had neither of those if I hadn't fallen into the group of friends I've hung out with since my birthday.

The first of the two is a guy named Randy.

The people who live at the apartment are Tony, George, Mike and Patrick . . . though at the time that I met Randy, Patrick wasn't living there . . .

Regular visitors to the apartment are myself, Karen (one of my best friends), Randy .. . I think we're the only regulars left . . . except for the other people who live in the complex . . . Natalie, Kristen, Marina, Cladiah, Keri, Komei, Nate . . .

Anyways . . . . back to the story . . . .

I met Randy on my birthday . . . didn't really think much of him then . . . he was just some strange guy who had sprayed his hair blue . . . . it wasn't until the next weekend that I actually got to know him . . . after that weekend I decided that he was probably the most beautiful guy that I've ever met . . . he's probably the main reason I started coming down every weekend . . . stuff happened . . . nothing big . . . just flirting and such . . . . but he did kiss me one night . . . not like a full kiss . . . just a little peck on the lips . . . and that same night him and I fell asleep on the little two-seat couch on Tony's porch . . . but after that . . . nothing . . .

Since I'm shy I wasn't about to just blurt something out and make a fool of myself . . . no way . . . so I waited . . . hoping he'd say something . . . he didn't . . . and finally we had a conversation and I found out that he was still hooked on his ex . . . so that was the end to that hope . . .

Then I went without having an interest for a while . . . and on October 1st, Patrick moved back into the apartment (he had left before I met the group, but I met him on my birthday too) . . . He had help moving down . . . . he brought his little brother Daniel down with him . . .

Daniel and I hit it off right away . . . . we all went out to breakfast and Daniel and I sat next to each other and walked back to the apartment together . . . shortly after that I had to go to my parent's house for my grandpa's birthday party . . . (yeah . . . I had to do that family stuff) . . . I left my parent's house earlier than usuall, hoping to get to talk to Daniel some more . . . I got there and he wasn't there . . . he had gone out to eat with an ex . . . he showed up not too long after that though . . . and we started right where we left off . . . we spent the rest of the evening together . . . talking for the most part . . . we went to the gas station on the corner once so I could get a bottle of water . . . and on the way back he kept picking me various flowers . . . one of which I have dried on my bulletin board . . .

We agreed to exchange email addy's . . . he walked me out to my car (it was about 12:30am which is the latest that I had ever left the apartment) and gave me a piece of paper that had not only his email addy, but also his home phone number and his pager number . . . we emailed each other back and forth for a while . . . he was supposed to be down about two weeks later . . . and I was going to tell him that I had plane tickets to go up to Northern California where he lived (I used to live there, so I had other friends I was going to stay with and visit) . . . we didn't quite make it to the apartment at the same time that weekend . . . he showed up Sunday night and I had gone with Keri and Cladiah to Keri's parent's house for dinner . . . so we didn't get to see each other . . . .

Once I got back to my house, I decided to use some of the other info he gave me and I paged him . . . he called back almost right away . . . which was nice . . . and I found out that we had just missed each other . . . and I told him that I was going to be going up there . . . so we decided that he was going to come pick me up some day that weekend . . . so I could hang out with him and meet his four year old son, Evan . . . . Evan is the most adorable child . . .

Anyway . . . we talked more than once a week since then . . . and finally the weekend came around when I was to go up there . . . I made it up there, but Daniel's car had to go into the shop and he couldn't come and get me . . . and because I flew up there, I had not transportation of my own . . . so we talked on the phone lots that weekend . . . and I got to talk to Evan too . . . he was so cute . . .

I left, somewhat disappointed, because seeing him was probably the thing I was most looking forward to about the trip . . . and it didn't happen . . .

So . . . we talked on the phone like usual . . . Thanksgiving weekend I called him from my parents house and found out that he was coming down this weekend that had just passed (Dec 1-3) . . . which I was a bit disappointed about 'cause I though (at the time) that I was supposed to work Saturday night . . . which meant that I couldn't go down there at all that weekend . . .

After I got off the phone with him I called work to start making arrangements to get out off work so I could see him . . .

I called Daniel again Monday night . . . caught him right before he was going to walk out the door . . . he was going to the movies . . . he asked if he could call me later that night . . . at around 11 or so like he usually does . . . I said that he could of course . . . so I purposely didn't come back online that day so he could call . . .

He didn't call . . . . so I decided that I wasn't going to page him for the rest of the week to see if he'd remember to call . . . and of course he didn't . . .

He showed up at the apartment Friday night . . . but left before I got there . . . and I got there earlier than I usually do . . . I got there at 7:30 or so . . .

My friend Cladiah found me and asked me a question.

"did you know he was bringing a girl over with him this weekend?"

I didn't even have to ask who she was talking about . . . I figured something like that was gonna happen . . . . . . I hadn't seen him yet . . . so I didn't know who this girl, Beth, is . . . Patrick didn't even tell me that Daniel had been over there Friday night . . . .

I went to my parent's house the next day and didn't get back over to the apartment until almost 10pm . . . . I took my brother, William with me . . . . about half an hour later Daniel showed up with Beth . . . he was surprised to see me . . . 'cause last he heard, I wasn't going to be there . . . he could tell there was something bothering me, and he kept asking me what it was . . . but I couldn't tell him 'cause she was in the room . . . and I'm not the type to do that sort of thing . . .

He left at around midnight or so with her, but before he left he gave me a hug and asked again . . . I told him that I'd talk to him about it later . . .

I didn't get back over to the apartment on Sunday . . . so I haven't seen him again . . .

He looked really, really good . . .

He should be getting home tonight here sometime soon . . . so I'm hoping that he'll check his email and call me tonight . . . so we can talk . . .

I'm not so much upset about him being with her . . . . I'm more upset that he didn't tell me . . .

He has every right in the world to go out with whom ever he pleases . . . I'd personally like for him to choose me, but I have no control over him . . . I just don't know why he wouldn't have told me something that important, knowing that I was extremely interested in him . . .

He should have told me.

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Hollie
120400
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