Creativity
Saturday, Mar. 08, 2003 ~ 12:47 a.m.
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Oops. I guess I didn't get here in time to do a Mar. 7th entry. This is technically it, but I got off work late. And on top of that, it's kinda chilly in here and I'm hungry, but none of that really has anything to do with anything else. I just like complaining sometimes. If you give me a minute, I think I'm gonna make something to eat. I'm thinking grilled cheese or something. Leave it to me to burn my thumb and set the smoke alarm off while making grilled cheese sandwiches. I didn't burn the sandwiches, but the butter in the hot pan put off enough smoke to set the alarm off . . . yay me. It's cold in here now and I have to do dishes tomorrow, otherwise I'm not going to have enough pans and such to cook with. Anywho. I had a thought/question/thing today. It popped into my mind after one of my space out times. I do that sometimes. It's like I'll just be looking at something and my mind ceases to think. I can honestly say that I don't think there's a single thought flowing through my brain at times like those. Not even day dreams. So the thought was, where does my mind go and why do I do that. I really have no answer at all and there was only one idea that I had. What if I space out and my subconscious mind is active and recieving messages from something or someone. Maybe these messages will be made clear in time. Who knows. Work is fun. I decided this today. I actually knew it before, but I don't know. I just decided to "decide" things today. Apparently (according to people at work anyway) I'm pregnant with Daniel's kid . . . or something. It amazes me what sort of things people can create in their minds. The only other thing that I decided today (or maybe it was late last night . . . I don't know) was that I was going to make a board. This board was going to be an inspirational board of sorts. I'm going to put things on it that represent things that I don't want to become again. I'm probably going to print out an entry or two from here and put it up there, from when I was my worst. I know I'm going to put a picture up from christmas time. I think I probably weighed the most then and it just looked bad. I didn't like it. I'm not going to go starve myself or anything, but I do need to not snack so much. I am going to put the new years entry on that board with my 5 resolutions (as a reminder). I keep getting urges to make things. I know why, but it's hard to believe I guess. I asked for it. I did the work to get it and I sent off the good stuff. I got what I wanted. The only problem is that the creativity hasn't extended to my writing yet, and that was the real purpose of the request. I'm hoping that if I just keep going, it will creep into my finger tips and the creative writing center of my brain and I'll get back to writing. But we'll see. Tomorrow should be interesting. We're down a man in paint which means that I probably won't be able to get my paper work done for Sunday morning, but I'll try. I should be getting to bed now and I think that's exactly what I'm gonna do 0 comments so far   
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