Someone else's decision.
Friday, May. 03, 2002 ~ 9:33 p.m.
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I love having my decisions made for me. Especially if I'm being indecisive like I was concerning the message board stuff that I talked about in both the last two entries. It seems that I'm now not even given a choice about whether or not I'm gonna leave. There's not much point in me staying if they've taken all of my names off the member list. Every last one of them. So, they're making it very easy for me to stay away. I've apologized, but it doesn't seem to matter. Juel tells me that I was her hero, but then she does something that I would never, ever do in my life. I've tried explaining that it wasn't the "whats" I was disagreeing with, it was the "how." Yes, I care that Frank's not welcome or even allowed to post on the board. The only reason I'm as upset as I am is because he wasn't given a choice, and he wasn't given clear reasons. The other person who should have been involved wasn't at all. Other than requesting that the admins of the board talk to him or what ever. All that I wanted in the beginning was not to be involved and for Juel to not get involved. This was definitely something that should have been strictly between the other two people. He probably would have agreed if that'd happened. He would have been able to find out answers and he wouldn't be left wondering what the fuck was going on. But no. Instead we have four, five or six very upset people. Everything could have been avoided. This is what I was going to post at the bottom of this thread: if I haven't then how come I was told that I did? Do you know how hard it is on someone who's always been indecisive to keep getting conflicting stories? Especially on top of all the stuff my messed up mind has been putting me through. And don't try to tell me that my mind isn't messed up. You'd noticed that something was wrong with me quite a while ago. I'm just finally admitting it. I suppose that's it . . . I'm gonna look awful at work . . . my eyes still feel awful from crying . . . Heh . . . at least this way I should be able to catch up on some other stuff here. 0 comments so far   
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