Dear Daniel
05-22-01 ~ 1:16 a.m.
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Dear Daniel~ I thought about calling you tonight. Then I thought about paging you and leaving you a voicemail. To be quite honest, I still am thinking about it. I'd send you this letter if I had your home address, but all I have are your email address and your various phone numbers. All I really want to do is talk, like we used to, before you met Beth. ~A small, but friendly smile passed over her lips as she paused the pen. She thought to herself how silly this letter would sound to him, should he ever read it, but she knew it was something she needed to write. It might even take her mind off the fact that the phone was within reach, and unused.~ Karen told me that you and Beth were engaged. I'd like to tell you that's wonderful news, but it makes me wonder. You've been seeing her for less time than you've known me, and you haven't known me very long. I don't know much about your past relationships because that was something we never chose to talk about. Why dwell on the past when we could talk about the future, right? From talking with people who knew you before I met you, I do know that you have been engaged before this, and that ended badly. And, from you, I do know that you have a son, Evan. He's one of the most adorable little boys I've ever seen, and I was even able to talk to him on the phone once. ~Pausing again, she remembered their conversation that day. He had told her how he and Evan had mowed the yard together. She laughed softly at the image in her mind. It was a loving laugh, though somewhat sad.~ You never sent the picture you promised. Things happened too quickly after that. I don't think it was anymore than a week later that you started seeing her. That wouldn't have bothered me had you told me, but you didn't. You and I had wanted to see each other, but because of a distance and horrible timing, we couldn't. That always seems to be my problem, but I've gotten used to it. For some reason I find it funny how we met. Not "funny" really, but that's the best word I can think of at the time. The first time we saw each other, we weren't exactly looking our best. It was the morning of October 1st (a Sunday if I remember correctly) and I had stayed the night over at Tony's apartment because we knew you and your brother were coming. Karen had told me that I had to meet Patrick, so that's why I stayed. When the two of you got there, we were all still sleeping. It's a good thing I'm a good morning person. You had been up all night driving. After we moved all the stuff up to the apartment, we decided to go to breakfast, and that's when we really started talking. You were funny, sweet, and charming. After breakfast though, I had to go to my parents house for my grandfather's birthday party. I thought about you the entire day, and I even left my parents house early, claiming that I had to work early the next morning, just to see you before I went back home. I was glad I did because that evening, we talked and stayed close for a very long time. You even walked me out to my car at midnight, where we talked for even longer. ~She laughed softly again, remembering how he had told her that night that she smelled good. That was a compliment that she seemed to get frequently, but it seemed new when he said it.~ Anyway. I left the apartment later than I ever had before, and even then I hadn't wanted to leave. It would be another two weeks before I would get the chance to see you again. I don't know why I'm telling you all this. You were there, and you know what happened. Maybe I'm telling you because, though you were there, you don't know the story from my perspective. But now you do. I don't even know why I decided to write this, or why I thought about calling you tonight. I haven't really thought about that for a while now. Not since I realized that you were rarely ever home, and you quit returning my pages, though you claimed it was because you didn't have your pager. I'm still not sure whether to believe that. I should believe it though, but I can't help it. Someone before you broke my trust, and I'm just always afraid someone's out to hurt me like before. I don't like being afraid. I've babbled on long enough though, and I want you to know that I do miss talking to you, and hearing about Evan. I can't even get updates from Patrick anymore since I rarely go down there. Gas is expensive you realize. Anyway. I'm sure I'll talk to you soon. Love,
Hollie ~She laid the pen down and read over the letter that she would never send. She felt no different now that it was written than she did before she took pen to paper. She looked over at the phone laying on her bed. It was so tempting to pick up and dial the numbers she hasn't dialed in months, but instead, she turned back to the letter, folded it, and tucked it away in her letter box. She probably wouldn't find it again until years later when she was feeling like reliving some of her past.~ 0 comments so far   
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