No regrets
Monday, Jun. 16, 2003 ~ 4:03 a.m.
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Okay, so yes. There were some things bothering me today. My mind is working too hard for my own good. And for some reason I feel like using this for my little way of communicating with you indirectly. I don't know. It's just that when I'm around you I seem to forget the things that I think about when you're not here. For example. The way that I've been lately is not really me going insane, it's more of me just giving up. I don't want to feel like I have to fight. For some reason I get the feeling that you're not ready. That you're going to let her manipulate you back into the relationship because you're not ready to give it up. Because you're not ready to see what the rest of us see. You're stuck there, dwelling on the past when it was good. You're not seeing what it has become. You're not accepting the way that you feel most the time. And I know it's hard. It always is hard. I think these things when you're not around. They're constantly in my mind, but when I'm around you, they all go away. When you're around I just want to look at your eyes. I want to see if you'll let me in yet or if you're going to keep me at a safe distance. I think of how frustrating you are, and how frustrating it is for me to know that you are going to take her back. And to know that you're going to go through all of this again. And it's frustrating to know that you're trying to do it all alone. I did want to thank you for calling me that night, for trusting me enough to want to talk to me, even if there wasn't much talking. I was glad that you gave me the opportunity to be there for you when you needed someone. There's so much more to thank you for as well. I want to thank you for being there when I needed you. For surprising me when I was all set to be mad at you for leaving work without saying anything when you knew I was having a bad night. I about cried when I saw your car next to mine, but the smile was instantaneous. I really don't know how you do it, but you do. You're absolutely wonderful and I will never regret anything that's been said or will be said. 0 comments so far   
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