Complicated and "The List"
Saturday, Aug. 25, 2001 ~ 6:34 p.m.
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I finally have a song now I think . . . Every time I hear it, I think it's perfect, and both Cassie and Silver have both said that they thought of me when they first heard it. It seems to describe just how I feel most times. Some of you may know it and some of you may not. It's Carolyn Dawn Johnson's Complicated And . . . for those of you who don't know it, here's the lyrics . . . you should go down load it 'cause it's a neat song anyway.
I'm so scared that the way I feel,
Is written all over my face
When you walk into the room,
I wanna find a hiding place.
We used to laugh, we used to hug, the way that old friends do.
But now, a smile and a touch of your hand,
Just makes me come unglued.
Such a contridiction, do I lie or tell the truth.
Is it fact or fiction,
Oh the way I feel for you. So complicated, I'm so frustrated.
I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away,
I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay.
Should I say it.
Should I tell you how I feel.
Oh, I want you to know.
But then again I don't. It's so complicated. Oh..just when I think I'm under control.
I think I finally got a grip.
Another friend tells me that, my name is always on your lips.
They say I'm more than just a friend, they say I must be blind.
Well, I admit that I've seen you watch me from the corner of your eye.
Oh, It's so confusing. I wish you'd just confess.
But think of what I'd
be losin', if your answer isn't yes. So complicated I'm so frustrated,
I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away,
I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay.
Should I say it, should I tell you how I feel.
Oh I want you to know, but then again I don't, It's so complicated. Oh, I hate it. 'Cuz I've waited.
So long for someone like you
Oh, what do I do.
Oh should I say it.
Should I tell you how I feel.
I want you to know,but then again I don't.
It's so complicated..
It's so complicated..
It's so complicated.
Ohh..
You know . . . there are some things around here that are really annoying . . . not just guys . . . or my living situation . . . other things . . . though the one I'm thinking of at the moment does have a little bit to do with where I live . . . Somewhere close by they do concerts or something . . . but they never really have good music . . . it's very rare anyway . . . well, in my opinion anyway . . . and we already know that everyone has their own opinions . . . At any rate . . . it's close enough that it's loud in my room . . . so needless to say, every weekend, I get free concerts that I don't want . . . then I have to turn my music up to basically drown out the sound, and then it's just impossible to rest or anything like that . . . And it's not like they're in the middle of the day when they don't really bother anyone . . . it's almost 7:00pm and it's still going . . . I just want to press a mute button or something . . . for some reason, noise that I can't do anything about really, really annoys me . . .
It seems here lately I'm getting annoyed more easily than I used to . . . Maybe Dino was right . . . Returns will change me . . . but I still don't want to think that it will . . . I haven't become all bitter and suspicious of everyone . . . yet . . . and I don't really think that I will . . . since I used to give money out to people I knew weren't honest at my last job . . . Maybe my irritability has nothing to do with work at all . . . but I'm around people at work, and therefore, that's where it comes out. I don't like being irritable . . . and I don't much like irritable people . . . I had one gentleman at work today that was beyond irritable with me . . . He had come up by the returns registers, so I asked him if he had a return . . . he said that he wanted me to call someone that he could ask a question to . . . so . . . I asked him what it was he needed to know, and he said that he had only found one edger outside and he wanted to ask someone about ordering them, so I asked him (just to clarify) if he needed to talk to someone to order some . . . he got all huffy and said no . . .that he needed to talk to someone about them . . . and he started making comments about how he could guess how "this place got it's reputation" and all other nasty stuff . . . so I just called Christy in Garden and she came up . . . he was all nice and sweet to her . . . the customer that I was dealing with at returns at the time told me that he hoped I didn't have anymore customers like that . . . so it wasn't just me that thought he was being unreasonable and rude . . . Earlier, I had stepped over to special services to staple something for a customer and he (the same guy) butted right in and started demanding stuff . . . Oy . . . people annoy me . . . but that's alright . . . Guys annoy me too . . . not that they don't fall into the general "people" category . . . they're just a whole different matter at the moment . . .
I have been asked for an updated version of "The List" as it's become known . . . I think that, because of my current attitude towards guys, "The List" has become more generalized and therefore has more people than the four that were on it. I guess the easiest way to go about it so I don't miss anyone is to go by department . . . I don't think there's anyone from 21 . . . Though Margo would say Gregg . . . and he's not too bad . . . but my list is still fairly narrowed down . . . I've recently added Mike in Dept 22 (who was a lot attendent) . . . I don't know why though . . . Dept 23/59 has both Jerico and Mario (who was on the original list as a cashier) 24 probably has the most good looking people there . . . though only one is on the list . . . and he's a recent addition too . . . that's Chris, Justin's brother . . . 25 still has Nolan . . . and of course Nolan's still #1 on the list 26/29 has someone on the list, but I'm still unwilling to admit that he's on the list 27&28 don't really have anyone that makes the list Oh . . . I lied . . . Dino's still on the list from garden . . . 30 . . . all the guys in Millworks are just a blast to talk to . . . but none of them really make the list . . . There's also still Jason from the lot . . . And I'd have to say that the only cashier who makes the list is Dino's nephew, Tim . . . Soooooo . . . the condensed version is: Nolan (Hardware), Tim (Cashier), Dino (Garden), Chris (Paint), Mario and Jerico (Floor and Wall), Jason (Lot), and Mike (Building) . . . oh . . . and the one I still don't want to admit from plumbing So it's up to 8 people now from the 4 it was . . . of course I can only remember 3 of the 4 . . . and all three of them are still in the new list . . . Oh . . . I remember . . . the fourth was Abel . . . who doesn't work there anymore . . . and Richie was on the list, but he transfered to another store . . . he hates the other store though . . . And . . . silly me . . . there are two managers who make the list . . . Margo, Me and Sandra talked about it yesterday I think . . . Marc and Corey make the list . . . So I'm just at 10 people . . . I'm sure it'll go down again soon . . . we'll see....
I've been dreaming a lot lately . . . I seem to be in that dream part of my dreaming cycle . . . which is good . . . but I need to get the time to start writing the dreams down again 'cause I'm losing quite a bit of detail and I usually can't remember the dreams after work . . . I suppose that's the only bad thing about opening all the time at work . . . I don't have any time to write down dreams 'cause I'm lazy . . . I need to start making time though . . .
It's 7:20-ish, and the music/concert is still going . . . what would happen if I wanted a nice peaceful dinner or something . . . peace and quiet . . . I wonder if I could call someone and complain about the noise? But anyway . . . I think I've rambled on enough for a day . . . happy reading. 0 comments so far   
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