Work, stories and undercover BDSM shops.
Friday, Aug. 29, 2003 ~ 1:11 a.m.

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I'm a little sleepy, and to prove that, I'd just like to share what I was tempted to type after realizing that I typed "I'm a little..." I wanted to type "teapot," but luckily, I controlled that urge. And I probably shouldn't be typing at all since I seem to be having difficulty, not only spelling words, but putting them together in the proper order, or even picking out the proper words to begin with.

Maybe after I eat the lovely food I'm cooking at the moment, I'll be able to string words together to create coherant sentence like structures. Then again, I might eat and get even more sleepy. See what happens when I don't get to sleep in? I was planning on sleeping in this morning (being the 28th of course), but I was informed on Wednesday afternoon, I wasn't going to be able to do that. I had to call Ken Boyell at 8 am on his cell phone. Now why would I have to do this you might ask? Well, because he seems to have his eyes set on me for the Administrative manager spot at the Easton, MD store. I'm not really wanting to go to Easton I think, but I'm going to give it some thought anyway. Who knows, maybe something will click when I'm doing all my thinking/exploring/etc. Of course, I don't know if I'd really want to leave the people that I work with either. Well, perhaps one of them.

The amuzing/confusing (heh... I rhymed) thing about this is that our current Admin Manager wants to go to Easton, and I'm not so keen on the idea (not that I've ever been "keen" on anything, but I felt like mixing up the word usage a bit). So, the easy solution.... Let Holli (not me) go to Easton like she wants, and let me take her spot here. I think I would be much more comfortable doing that job here than I would there. Reasons for this are mainly because I know that I would get the support that I might need while I was learning the job. I can't say the same for going to Easton. Though I can't really say that I wouldn't either since I haven't met anyone who works there.

I'm going to go in and talk to Yvette tomorrow. I want to see what she thinks and such. Just kinda chat with her some about the whole thing.

As far as everything else goes, there's not much new. I seem to have found a bit more confidence in the area I was bitching about in the last entry, but I think that Linda helped out with that, whether or not she realized it. I don't talk to Liz much, but it's not for a lack of trying. I call quite frequently, but no one seems to want to answer the phone. I suppose in time they'll come back out into the light of day and talk to people again, but we'll see.

Daniel's feeling much better (he had back issues) and Lilly's still cute as ever. I was watching her yesterday(being Wednesday) morning while Daniel was at school and she was fine, but when I picked Daniel up and the three of us were back at the house, she started acting up. Linda says that she does it to piss him off

But that's alright.

Last night (being Wednesday) I went back over there during my lunch break. Linda offered Peach ice cream and I just couldn't refuse. During that time we chatted. Eventually we ended up telling those "when I/he/she/them/etc were young" stories. I tried to think of the ones my parents would tell, and I got most of them, but my stepdad said that he'd see if he could think of anymore.

I think this might end up being a very long entry, well at least a whole hell of a lot longer than I originally thought.

Back to the "when...young" stories. The first ones that came to mind were the "batting my eyes" story and the "biting of my mother's knee" story. Then of course, there was the "trying to divorce my parents" letter, which is what caused me to call my parents in the first place. I wanted to see if they still had that letter. My stepdad said that he didn't, but he didn't know if my mother had kept it. Anyway, through the course of that short conversation, I explained to him what caused me to ask. And he reminded me of another story. The "M&M cereal" story, and he said he'd see if he could think of anymore. But I already said that.

Okay. The "batting the eyes" story goes as follows. When I was little (3-4-ish) I was cute (still am....really....stop looking at me like that). I had learned how to do that cute little girl batting of the eyelashes. My parents of course, thought it was the cutest thing in the world. So, being parents, they wanted to show me off to a friend. When it was time, they told me to bat my eyes.

And I did.

I literally batted my eyes.....with my hands.

This was not at all what my parents expected. Apparently I was a smart ass even way back then. "You want me to perform? I'm gonna improvise. Haha!"

Er.... yeah.

The "biting of my mother's knee" story is one that I've been warned (by my stepdad) not to bring up in front of my mother.

Circumstances leading up to the incident were similar to the last story, so we'll just skip to the good part.

My step dad told me to bite my mother's knee. And I did. Hard. Needless to say, she wasn't very happy with me or with him (hence the "don't bring it up in front of your mother" warning).

The "trying to divorce my parents" letter.

I know I was mad at them for something. I don't really remember what, but I was mad. I wrote this letter (I wish I could read it. I want to laugh at myself), and I started it "Dear Mother and Stepfather." At that point I still called my mother, "mom"/"mommy." And, as you could probably guess, this was during my preteen/teen years. Little did I know, later in life, I would actually call my mother, "mother," so the letter wasn't as insulting (as far as the intro goes anyway) as I intended.

I really do want to read that letter.

Last story, and the one that my stepdad says is the first to pop into his head. The "M&M cereal" story.

This took place when we lived in England, and surprisingly, my chocoholic-ism wasn't affected in the slightest. I wonder if this is why I love chocolate so much.

Hmmm...

Sorry, got side tracked. Chocolate does that sometimes.

Anyway. The night before the incident, my parents had the container of M&Ms out ('cause we had them as a snack). They didn't put them away after we were done, so when I woke up in the morning, they were still out. Now, me being the little girl that I was, and we all know how early little children can be up and about getting into things, I was up before anyone else in the house. (Linda, this is going to vary slightly from what I mentioned to you 'cause I'm remembering it a little clearer now. The basic jist of it's the same though).

When my parents got up, the M&M container was put away. They thought I had been a good girl and just put it away for them. Heh. Then they noticed that I was sitting there infront of a bowl full of milk. They were a little confused about why I would have a bowl of milk for my breakfast. So, of course they had to investigate.

I had poured some of the M&Ms that I put away into the bowl and poured milk over that. M&M cereal. Yummy.

My parents then realized that I hadn't been quite as good a girl as they had originally thought. In fact, I had been slightly bad (my usual description now-a-days ... "slightly bad"). I wasn't supposed to have candy without asking and such. So, as my punishment, they went out and bought a great big bag of M&Ms and poured them all into a bowl. That was to be my lunch and I wasn't supposed to be able to get up until I had finished them all. I don't think I ever did finish them all, but eventually they let me get up (as if you didn't realize that already).

Anyway, I'm sure there are many other amusing stories that could be told about when I was young. I'm sure I was an odd child. Heh. Just look at me now.

Oh, one last thing. I came across another of my old paper journals (this one being the one I was keeping when my computer was out of commision back in 2002 with all the entries that I meant to transfer over to here, but because I'm lazy, never did). There was one entry that I wrote that I find fairly amusing and I thought I'd share it.

June 15, 2002 11:00pm

I just got done watching a movie. I went downstairs to watch "Along Came A Spider," but never got around to watching that. When I turned the TV and VCR on, "Sphere" was on. I forgot how interesting that movie was to watch. I have the book somewhere too, and I'll probably read it after I move.

Gerald was supposed to call me tonight, but he didn't. I was afraid I'd miss his call 'cause I told him I'd be home around 7:30 or so, but I went across to K-Mart to buy all new underwear and completely forgot about it. I know he didn't call 'cause no one called. My caller ID tells me if anyone called, and no one's called since my parents did this morning.

I'm going to have to call my stepdad before work tomorrow morning, and I'll have to call my dad tomorrow during work. He wouldn't be home if I tried calling before work.

Speaking of work, I jotted a few things down to mention in here.

The first was comb-overs.

There are a few guys each day in the store who have them. I personally think they look awful. What are they really trying to hide? If they're trying to make a good first impression, they're not. They're lying with their first impression. And, really, if you're going bald, it looks better if you're not trying to hide it.

First off, you're showing who you really are. You're showing that you're comfortable with how you look and that if other people don't like a bald head, who cares?

If you're wandering around sporting a comb-over, you aren't fooling anyone. What you are shouting out, loud and clear, is that you're insecure and ashamed of your hair loss.

I don't know. Comb-overs just bother me. Perhaps it's 'cause I'd rather see the real person than a falsity.

The second thing I jotted down were the words "cable cuffs."

Cable cuffs are a new product in the electrical department. They're used to keep cables together. A perfectly innocent use for them.

But ... (I'm sure you realized there'd be a "butt")

They just happen to very closely resemble handcuffs. Not only that, but they close to an elliptical shape that's just the right size for a wrist.

Now, with that information and knowing the type of people I work with, you should be able to figure out what people were hinting towards.

That, of course, got us talking about other things in the store. For example, safety shower/bath bars. They're strong enough to hold a person's weight. We've had someone come in and ask if there was a way to mount one of those on the ceiling over her bed. She may have been playing a joke, but still. There's those, chains, rope, PVC pipe (did I ever mention what my assistant manager, Dan, was making out of PVC pip and rope one day? Well, lets just say he was making "toys" for that night), mirrors, etc....

Home Depot ... the newest undercover BDSM shop. Not to mention the many teens we supply with funnels and vinyl tubing.

We're just bad.

At the time I wrote that entry, I was working for Home Depot. All of that could very well apply to Lowe's too.

But I think I've written enough of a novel. Maybe I'll read through the rest of that journal and pick a few entries out to share here on a future date.

'til then.

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