Happy Birthday
Thursday, Oct. 17, 2002 ~ 10:01 p.m.
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Happy birthday Matt. You know, I don't even know if you even realize anything that's happened since you died 4 years ago. How do I know that you can't see us all and that you aren't hurting as much as we do? I know I mentioned that I hadn't heard either your mom or our dad say anything about you or even mention your name, but today your mom cried. Her parents are here visiting and your grandpa went to talk with her. They mention you from time to time. It made me cry knowing what she must have been feeling. I still don't think they've been to your grave at all. I feel drained right now. It just sort of came over me all at once. I didn't feel this way earlier, but that's alright. I don't even know what I want to say anymore. Since I've started my new position at work I do feel a little better, but I still feel down from time to time. Perhaps the reason I don't mind working for such long hours is that it keep my mind busy and doesn't give it any time to dwell on unplesantries (or however you spell it). Maybe that's why I sleep so much on my days off too. Do you think I should go get tested for depression? You should know if you have been watching over us. Even if you've just been watching over this house, I'm sure you've seen enough of how I've been feeling and how much I've been hiding to be able to answer that question. I should go and study a bit for my test on Saturday. ~Hollie 0 comments so far   
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