123100
12-31-00 ~ 22:34:26
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I woke up this morning at about quarter 'til 7. I was crying . . . . that's the first time that I've ever cried in my sleep . . . . it was the crying that woke me up . . . . I'm sure of it . . . . I had a dream . . . and in the dream, someone died . . . . I don't even know who it was . . . . I wrote a poem about it . . . titled "The Unknown Loss" I woke this morning,
The last day of the millenium,
Eyes overflowing,
Cheeks soaked,
And fear paralyzing me. It all seemed so real,
The dream.
The emotions, feelings
Were real.
There's evidence on my cheeks
And the salty tears
Still in my eyes. I'm not sure who you were.
Were you a friend?
Were you family?
Were you a stranger?
I don't know. You were familiar
We were close
I don't know who you were,
But the pain of losing you
Is so much more than I can bear. That pain is still with me.
It will live in me
Forever. ~*~*~*~*~*~ And there it is . . . it's only 10:34 right now . . . still an hour and a half 'til the millenium's over . . . . and I am sitting here . . . doing nothing but typing away here . . . and chatting with an online friend of mine "Mystex"/Tracy . . . he's a sweetheart . . . . and he's making me feel a bit better . . . . since I'm sitting here all alone . . . . I had plans at one point . . . . an old roommate, Yvonne, was supposed to come and get me so that we could go to her grandma's and hang out with her brother . . . . but as you can probably guess . . . she must have forgot . . . 'cause I'm still here . . . . and I will be brining in the new year with my four fish . . . . and let me tell you . . . . those are some -real- party animals . . . I would be down in San Diego/Carlsbad right now, but I got scheduled to work tomorrow morning . . . and there's no way I'd make it back up here for work if I had gone down there . . . so I stayed up here . . . . I think I would have gone if I had known that I was going to get to be alone for the new year . . . . . so I wrote a poem about that too . . . that's the second poem for the day . . . . titled "Forgotten" (for now anyway) The sky has grown dark
The last daylight of the year
Has disappeared.
Only a few more hours,
And the door to this year
Slams shut
Leaving me in the dark,
In the silence
To open the glistening white door,
A clean slate
To the next year,
Alone. A night of family,
A night of friends,
A night of parties,
A night of remembering,
A night of company,
And I sit here in silence,
Alone. Plans are made
And plans are forgotten.
People let down,
Forgotten and left
Alone. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Wow . . . . wasn't that exciting . . . . I would have titled it "Alone" . . . . but there's already one titled that . . . . so forgotten was the next best thing . . . . I think . . . . I'm working on a third poem too . . . . I'm trying another Sestina . . . . picked my 6 words and I'm trying to work a story around them . . . the words are willow, weep, light, dark, rose and haunt . . . . I want to try a double sestine, but I'm having trouble picking out 12 different end words . . . . It's now 11pm . . . and my back and butt hurts . . . . I have cramps . . . . a wonderful way to bring in the new millenium . . . . and yes .. . . -I- believe that this is the new millenium whether you all do or not . . . . but anyway . . . . I think I've rambled enough . . . . it's time to sit back and watch the door to the year slam shut . . . . just to start a new one . . . . Until then. ~*~*~*~*~
Hollie
123100
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