Time Tuesday, Apr. 09, 2002 ~ 6:21 a.m.
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It's 6:21 am and I'm still up. I watched two movies over the course of the night, but it's 6:22 am and I'm still up. I don't know what the fuck's wrong with me, but whatever it is, it's been wrong for some time I guess. All those times when I couldn't care. They were all times that I couldn't feel. I couldn't feel like I used to. I couldn't find those reasons to smile. I couldn't find a reason to frown. I couldn't find a reason to cry. It's 6:25 am and I'm still up. I'm still up and I can't sleep. I'm tired, but I can't sleep. My eyes are tired. My head is tired. My mind is tired. My emotions are tired. My heart is tired. Everything is tired, but it's 6:26 am and I'm still up. I wish I could get through this fucking block, this thing that's stopping me from letting everything out. Maybe if I just let loose a little every now and then. Maybe if I just went a little on the nutty side. Maybe then I'd feel better. Maybe then I'd feel. Maybe then I could care. A lot of Maybe's, but maybe none of it will ever change. I have bruises on my body that I can't remember getting. Most aren't visible, but I can feel them. I was never one that bruised easily. I don't know what's wrong with me. I do know that it's 6:32 am and I'm going. 0 comments so far
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