Doctors and Moods
Thursday, Apr. 04, 2002 ~ 11:51 p.m.
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Alright, so I didn't update my other diary again today. At least I updated it once this week. I think I'm getting to a part in the story where I'm going to have to do a lot more work in the way of background information. I want to make it somewhat historically accurate, but not too much since it is fantasy. I'm thinking that I'm probably only going to be updating once a week until I get to a part of the story that I had a prior idea for. Right now it's just kinda going where it wants, which is how I prefer to write (as you can probably tell from this diary). Once a week updates is also a good way to give me time to catch up on the reviews I've slacked on when I was in my "I don't feel like doing anything but laying here feeling sorry for myself for no reason" mood. See. That is why I think that I need to go to the doctors. Of course I haven't gotten any closer to actually going yet, but that's alright. I just got paid and I'll probably go after the next paycheck when I have the extra bit of money to cover the co-pay. Maybe I have a hard time actually going to the doctors because I never really went for minor things when I was younger. We only went when it was serious. For example, ear infections or the time when I dropped the ping-pong table on my head. Just for the record, that hurt. Anyway. We never went becuase my mom had spent time as a medic and such in the military and she knew how to take care of all the minor things. She's also the oldest of 8 kids, so she had a fair amount of experience taking care of young people before she even had me. Maybe I'm just afraid to go to the doctors. Maybe that's why I used to love apples so much. "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." I guess I'm just afraid that they'll tell me that there's something really wrong with me and that I will have to go on medication. Maybe I'm also afraid of being put on the meds and having them change how I am. That's an unrational fear though 'cause I don't like how I feel now. I hate the variance in moods that I experience. Especially when they vary enough to hit the two extremes within 4 hours. I never know how I'm going to feel when I wake up in the morning, and I'm sure that the people that I work with are tired of my moods. They say that they don't bother them, but maybe they're just being nice. Of course my moods aren't nearly as off the wall as my department head's moods, but at least she has reasons for hers. That's probably the worst part. There's no reasons for me to be in the moods that I get into. So, yeah. I think that if something about how I am and how I feel bothers me as much as this does, I think that I should go see a doctor. It couldn't really hurt and I might as well make use of the medical insurance that I'm paying for every paycheck, right? 0 comments so far   
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