Self doubt
Wednesday, Jun. 15, 2005 ~ 10:14 p.m.
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I'm not happy really. I don't like that I don't know what happened with Liz and James and me. I don't know why they stopped communicating with everyone for a little while, though I do know that they moved for a little while (I knew that it was a possibility, but they had quit speaking to me before they moved). Linda just told me that they had been gone, but that they are now back. This feeling came back when I read Linda's entry where she talked about going out to dinner with some old friends. She went out with Liz and James. I really don't know anything other than that. I'm confused and half the time it makes me want to cry. I question my self worth. I question everything about myself. So far as I can remember, I didn't do anything specific to deserve the cold shoulder. Liz has a new blog/diary and I want to go on there and make a comment or two, but I'm so afraid that any comment that I make will have the bitter overtones that I feel when I think about the situation. I don't really want that to be the case.
I hate not knowing. I really do. I think that's the worst part of it all. We were friends, close enough that I went out to dinner with her and her family for her 21st birthday. I just don't know what happened. I'm getting repetitive so I'm just going to stop. I should honestly just forget about it completely. It's times like this that I wish I could not care and just up and leave everyone (except Mike of course .. he would be going with me.) Sometimes I hate my mind. 0 comments so far   
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